tunnel rat posted on April 28, 2010 22:44
EXT. WATERFRONT HILTON – LATER THAT NIGHT 

               Rudy sits in his Mercedes and watches the guests pull up to
               the hotel valet.

               A PLACARD READS:  22nd Annual AILA Immigration Law Seminar

               Rudy sees Mitch give his keys to the valet and quickly enter
               the lobby.  Rudy flicks his cigarette out the window and
               follows.



               INT. WATERFRONT HILTON – MOMENTS LATER

               Rudy trails behind a pack of fast moving suits rushing to the
               presentation.  He's far enough back that Mitch doesn't see
               him.  They all reach the entrance to the conference...

               But a GREETER stops them to sign in and check credentials.

                                   PRESENTER (O.S.)
                         We'd like to thank the committee
                         for inviting our special guest,
                         Larry Finkel of Grisby, Finkel, and
                         Kumar.

               Greeter seals the doors shut, leaving Rudy alone in the
               hallway.  Stymied, he quickly spots a WORKER pushing a cart
               of water pitchers into a door marked "EMPLOYEES ONLY."

               Rudy follows through the service entrance.

               Doors line a hallway, and one is slightly ajar, propped open
               by the water cart left by Worker.

                                   LARRY FINKEL (O.S.)
                         The recruitment campaign can begin
                         once you've spoken with the HR
                         people and the immigration
                         specialist.

               Rudy moves to the door and pushes it open a few inches.  He
               sees LARRY FINKEL (52) at a podium just 10 feet away.

                                   LARRY FINKEL
                         To be technically compliant with
                         the H-1B or L-1 laws, you must
                         place ads in the local papers to
                         advertise the position.
                             (beat)
                         The wage being offered to the
                         foreign national only has to be
                         included in the internal postings.

               Rudy's not sure what he has come across.

               The packed conference room is full of mostly WHITE
               BUSINESSMEN and GEEKY TECH MANAGERS in company polo shirts
               and khakis.  They listen very closely.

                                   LARRY FINKEL
                         When the resumes pour in, the
                         employer has a thirty day review
                         period.  You must go through all
                         U.S. applicants.
                             (beat)
                         Resumes that don't meet job
                         requirements can be summarily
                         disqualified.  The key is to write
                         the requirements so that local
                         applicants can't meet them.

               Rudy can't believe what he hears as he watches from his
               hiding place.

                                   LARRY FINKEL
                         You must find a legal basis to
                         disqualify the U.S. citizen.  At
                         the same time, it's vital to tailor
                         the resume of the guest worker to
                         fit the job posting.
                             (beat)
                         Comply with the law fully, and
                         you're in the clear.

               Rudy sees Mitch standing in the very front, clearly in
               rapture and agreement.

                                   LARRY FINKEL
                         Our goal is, number one, to meet
                         the requirements, and number two,
                         to hire inexpensive labor.
                             (beat)
                         And uh, it might sound strange, but
                         we're not looking for interested
                         and/or qualified U.S. workers.  It
                         really is that simple.  Thank you
                         for your time.

               The room ERUPTS IN APPLAUSE.  Mitch claps eagerly and moves
               to the podium to get closer to Larry Finkel.

               Rudy watches, in a daze, not sure what to make of everything.

Posted in:   Tags:
tunnel rat posted on April 27, 2010 23:08
EXT. WIDECOUNTRY HEADQUARTERS – LATER THAT NIGHT

               After another long day, exhausted Rudy exits and reaches his
               Mercedes CLK 550.  But Flanagan sits on the hood holding a
               cardboard box with his personal office items.

                                   RUDY
                         What're you doing, Devil Dog?

                                   FLANAGAN
                         Dude, you would not fuckin' believe
                         it.  I got shitcanned!

                                   RUDY
                         What, how?!

                                   FLANAGAN
                         Mitch fired me.  He wanted me to
                         falsify some loan app with a BK and
                         I wouldn't do it.

                                   RUDY
                         He can't do that.  You gotta run it
                         through change control.

                                   FLANAGAN
                         Pussy got all belligerent.  Called
                         me a "Mick."  Told him to fuck off
                         and he fired my ass.

                                   RUDY
                         I'm gonna talk to Sammy.

                                   FLANAGAN
                         No, I don't like it here, man.  But
                         I appreciate what you did for me.

               They shake, then Rudy storms away...



               INT. MITCH'S OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER

               And into Mitch without being invited.  Flustered Mitch is
               pissed.

                                   MITCH
                         You don't have a meeting scheduled!

                                   RUDY
                         You fired Flanagan?!

                                   MITCH
                         He insubordinate and fired himself.

                                   RUDY
                         What the fuck is going on here?!

                                   MITCH
                         We need team players.  Our end
                         users need their loans or this
                         company is done.

               Rudy's face flushes with anger.  He is speechless,
               disorientated.  His eyes dart across the room, and he spots a
               flyer in Mitch's inbox.

               IT READS:  22nd Annual AILA Immigration Law Seminar - The
               Placement & Retention of Foreign Programmers


Posted in:   Tags:
tunnel rat posted on April 27, 2010 10:25
 INT. WIDECOUNTRY HEADQUARTERS - DAY 

               Rudy cracks his knuckles at his desk and stares at the
               computer monitor.  He's obviously frustrated.  In BG, Ashish
               fervently talks on the phone as he types on his keyboard.

                                   ASHISH (IN HINDI, SUBTITLED)
                         Yes, I will get the loan approved,
                         don't worry about the down payment.

               Ashish hangs up and looks around to see if anyone was
               listening.  Rudy was, but he didn't understand a word of it. 
               Rudy snaps at him.

                                   RUDY
                         Did you write this workflow app?!

                                   ASHISH
                         I think.

                                   RUDY
                         That's a lot of ugly code.  I can
                         barely read it.  And all these
                         comments, what language is this?

                                   ASHISH
                         Hindi.

                                   RUDY
                         Hindi?  Use English from now on.  I
                         can't read this.

               Ashish sits there, stone-faced.  Rudy isn't even sure that
               Ashish understood him.

                                   ASHISH
                         Why are you bothering me?

               Rudy calms down a moment, then tries to bond with him.

                                   RUDY
                         You wanna go get a burger?

               Ashish shoots down the invitation.

                                   ASHISH
                         No.  I'm vegetarian.



               INT. MITCH'S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER

               Rudy barges into Mitch's office unannounced.

                                   RUDY
                         Ashish doesn't know what the fuck
                         he's doing.

                                   MITCH
                         Ashish has a Master's in Comp Sci
                         from the best tech institute in
                         India...CIT.

                                   RUDY
                         CIT?

                                   MITCH
                         Calcutta Institute of Technology.

                                   RUDY
                         But he's a Java programmer and
                         we're a Dot-Net shop.

                                   MITCH
                         With that education, I'm sure he
                         can pick up anything in no time!  
                         We're lucky he works here.

               Mitch becomes very agitated.

                                   MITCH
                         Do you know how much a local senior
                         developer with a Master's degree
                         costs?  And they're all slackers
                         and potheads with attitude.
                             (beat)
                         Ashish is nice and works hard, just
                         like the other Indians.   I love
                         having them around.

                                   RUDY
                         Ashish can barely code!  Maybe you
                         should move him to QA.

                                   MITCH
                         Do you have a Master's, Rudy?

               Getting nowhere, Rudy storms out...



               INT. WIDECOUNTRY HEADQUARTERS – SAME

               And runs into Clipper.



               EXT. WIDECOUNTRY HEADQUARTERS ROOF - MOMENTS LATER

               Rudy and Clipper share a smoke and check out the 360 degree
               view of the Pacific Ocean, mountains, the Spectrum, and John
               Wayne Airport.  Jets land and depart less a few blocks away.

                                   CLIPPER
                         Is that web service gonna be ready
                         in time for the next release?

                                   RUDY
                         Pretty much done.  Just gotta
                         refactor and add some interfaces
                         and documenting.

                                   CLIPPER
                         I wouldn't bother with all that
                         gold-plating.  Ashish and his boys
                         will botch the roll-out.  They do
                         it all the time.

                                   RUDY
                         Yeah, I've had ten all-nighters
                         this month just to finish the new
                         build.
                             (beat)
                         And half the work is fixing their
                         spaghetti!

                                   CLIPPER
                         It's fuckin' death march.  Peak
                         Framework is Freak Painwork...a
                         stinking pile of shit.

                                   RUDY
                         Do you think it'll go live in time?

                                   CLIPPER
                         Hell no!  That bitch, uh, I mean
                         Mitch doesn't know shit.

                                   RUDY
                         You're so right.  And I just tried
                         to let him know that Ashish is a
                         total waste of space, but he didn't
                         want to hear it.

                                   CLIPPER
                         Oh man, don't fuck with Ashish.  I
                         think he's got something on bitch.

                                   RUDY
                         What do you mean?

                                   CLIPPER
                         When I started here, there were
                         about a dozen programmers on the
                         team, half of 'em white guys like
                         us.  Now we're the only one's left
                         and the team is triple the size. 
                         Something's up.

               Rudy takes a long drag on his cigarette and thinks about it.

Posted in:   Tags:
tunnel rat posted on April 26, 2010 23:02
INT. WIDECOUNTRY HEADQUARTERS – WEEKS LATER

               Rudy saunters across the spectacle that is WideCountry's I.T.
               department.  What was once 50 programmers now totals 100. 
               Many are shoulder to shoulder, crammed inside their veal
               pens.  Most are Indian.

               A giant LCD board keeps track like the old Times Square U.S.
               deficit marquee.

               It reads: LOANS ORIGINATED THIS QUARTER...4,876  TOTAL
               VALUE...$1,170,076,129



               EXT. WIDECOUNTRY HEADQUARTERS - MORNING

               Rudy pulls up in his beater pickup truck, parks, then walks
               to the entrance.  Suddenly, he sees Kevin Flanagan, his
               Marine buddy.  He looks terrible.

                                   RUDY
                         Holy shit, Flanagan!  What are you
                         doing here?

                                   FLANAGAN
                         Southie was a clusterfuck.  There's
                         a hiring freeze on "whitey" in the
                         fire department.

                                   RUDY
                         How long you been back, Devil Dog?

                                   FLANAGAN
                         Four months.

                                   RUDY
                         You doing alright?

                                   FLANAGAN
                         No.  But it looks like you are. 
                         How's your knee?

                                   RUDY
                         Not good, but you know that's the
                         price a patriot pays.
                             (beat)
                         Would've been worse if it wasn't
                         for you.  I'll never forget that.

               They hold on that memory for a long beat.

                                   FLANAGAN
                         I don't want to beg, man, but I
                         really need a job.

               Rudy wants to help.

                                   RUDY
                         I can get you in as a broker rep. 
                         They need lots of guys to process
                         these loans.

               Flanagan's spirits are boosted.

                                   FLANAGAN
                         Sounds easy compared to Fallujah,
                         Devil Dog!

                                   RUDY
                         Yeah, it is.  Come back at lunch
                         and I'll get things going.

                                   FLANAGAN
                         Thanks, Rudy.  I owe you, man.

                                   RUDY
                         No, you don't.

               And they shake hands.



               INT. & EXT. MONTAGE - VARIOUS TIMES

               We follow Rudy in a flurry of activity...

               * Rudy high-fives Flanagan after he exits his interview. 
               He's been hired thanks to Rudy...

               * Staff meetings drone on with Mitch and his PowerPoint
               presentations...

               * Rudy and Lazlo are about to walk into a McDonalds, but then
               Rudy steers Lazlo into a sports bar a few doors down. 
               Moments later, they enjoy a nice meal and Busch beers as they
               watch Mexican wrestling on the big screen TV.

               * The clock shows us Rudy's late nights and early mornings as
               he slaves away on the Peak Framework project...

               * Rudy and Carina enjoy a bottle of wine and then a romp on
               the beach...

               * Rudy huddles over a monitor explaining technical issues
               with team members...

               * Exhausted Rudy finds Lazlo asleep on his Lazy Boy...

               * Sammy unveils WideCountry's Super Bowl ad at a company
               gathering.  He's very proud and everyone cheers it...

               * Carina and Rudy dance at the party, falling in love...



               EXT. FLETCHER JONES MERCEDES LOT - DAY

               Rudy and Carina circle the lot and settle on a gleaming black
               CLK500 Mercedes convertible.  She loves it, except for the
               black interior.



               EXT. LAGUNA BEACH - HOURS LATER

               Rudy and Carina SPEED down a winding stretch of PCH in a
               CLK500 Mercedes convertible, now with tan interior.



Posted in:   Tags:
tunnel rat posted on April 26, 2010 09:44
 INT. RUDY'S TRUCK – MONTHS LATER

               Rudy drives Lazlo down Beach Boulevard towards Huntington
               Beach as Conservative Radio Host rants in BG.

                                   CONSERVATIVE RADIO HOST (OVER RADIO)
                         No matter how high or wide you
                         build a fence, they figure a way
                         around it.
                             (beat)
                         Let's just make Mexico the 51st
                         state.  It would take about two
                         days to conquer.
                             (beat)
                         But then you'd have to put the
                         entire population on welfare, so
                         that's not gonna fly!

                                   LAZLO
                         How's work?

                                   RUDY
                         Great, dad.  Really great.  Already
                         been there almost three months.
                             (beat)
                         I love what I do, and I'm getting
                         close with the owner.

                                   LAZLO
                         That's my boy.  I'm proud of you.

               They share a close moment.

                                   RUDY
                         I have something to show you.

                                   LAZLO
                         What?

                                   RUDY
                         It's a surprise.

                                   LAZLO
                         I hate surprises!  What is it?

               But Rudy just smiles as he steers his pickup...



               EXT. HUNTINGTON SHORES RETIREMENT COMMUNITY – SAME

               Into the driveway of the elite mobile home park across PCH.

                                   LAZLO
                         Why you go in here?  Wal-Mart is
                         the other way.

               Rudy smiles again and steers his truck past stately double
               wides, with tiny manicured gardens.  It's clearly an up
               market trailer park for seniors.  Rudy pulls up to a modest
               yet immaculate coach and parks the pickup.  He exits.

                                   LAZLO
                         You know someone here?

               Rudy WHISTLES.  Two MEXICAN MOVERS emerge from the coach and
               Rudy signals for Lazlo to enter.

                                   LAZLO
                         Who are your Mexican friends?

                                   RUDY
                         Movers.

               Lazlo curses under his breath in Hungarian.



               INT. LAZLO'S MOBILE HOME - SAME

               Lazlo follows Rudy.  It's nicer than you'd imagine with a
               full kitchen, two bedrooms, and a nice bathroom.

               Carina enters from the back of the trailer, damp with sweat,
               in cleaning clothes and rubber gloves.

                                   CARINA
                         Hi Lazlo!  So...what do you think?

               Lazlo is speechless.  He follows them inside and reality sets
               in.

                                   LAZLO
                         This is joke, no?

                                   RUDY
                         You're a homeowner, dad!

               Lazlo is floored.  He gets very emotional and hugs Rudy for a
               long beat.

                                   LAZLO
                         How?

                                   RUDY
                         After watching you bust your ass in
                         a cab all these years, it's the
                         least I could do!

                                   LAZLO
                         No, Rudy, no, you're just starting
                         out.  I pay my own bills, and I
                         can't afford something like this.

                                   RUDY
                         The payment is less than the rent
                         in Santa Ana.  And when interest
                         rates go down, we refinance.

                                   LAZLO
                         You know what you're doing?

                                   RUDY
                         I'm learning.

               Lazlo gives in to the moment and hugs Rudy again.

                                   LAZLO
                         Learning very well, I think!

               Out of the corner of his eye, Lazlo sees the Movers cart
               another box from the U-Haul.  Since it looks to be filled
               with trash, they quickly toss it in a nearby dumpster.

                                   LAZLO
                         Hey!



               EXT. LAZLO'S MOBILE HOME - SAME

               Lazlo opens the box and rifles through it.  He retrieves the
               now-faded blue plaid air mattress and inspects the bullet
               hole from all those years ago.  Tears well up - it seems like
               it was just yesterday.

                                   LAZLO
                         Your mother would be very proud.

                                   RUDY
                         I know, dad, I know.

               They share a close hug.

Posted in:   Tags:
tunnel rat posted on April 25, 2010 13:03
EXT. WIDECOUNTRY HEADQUARTERS – LATER THAT NIGHT

               Rudy exits, flush with the excitement of his first day on the
               job.  He reaches his beater truck, opens the glove
               compartment, and quickly finds his painkillers.  But instead
               of taking the pills, he dumps them into a nearby trash can.



               INT. RUDY'S TRUCK - NIGHT

               Rudy and Carina drive in his pickup truck.  Carina holds the
               same envelope and reads the invitation, very excited.

                                   CARINA
                         "In celebration of WideCountry's
                         billion dollar quarter, you are
                         cordially invited to the home of
                         Samir Pessian."
                             (beat)
                         What did you have to do, blow him?

                                   RUDY
                         No, but that would be the
                         responsible thing to...

               And before he can even finish, Carina goes down on Rudy...



               EXT. SAMMY'S MANSION – MOMENTS LATER

               And she finishes just as Rudy pulls into Sammy's driveway in
               Newport Coast.

               Palm trees and fountains glisten in the sunset as cool jazz
               echoes from the estate in BG.

               Just as Rudy pulls the pickup to the Valet Parking Attendant,
               it BACKFIRES, then LURCHES FORWARD!  Rudy and Carina exit the
               truck, embarrassed, and walk away.
 
INT. SAMMY'S MANSION – SAME

               The mansion is filled with Persian new money, WideCountry
               mortgage brokers, Orange County cougars, and more than a few
               working girls.

               Rudy and Carina walk past the marbled luxury and make their
               way poolside where guests sip cocktails and nibble on finger
               food.  Carina can hardly contain herself at the display of
               wealth.

                                   CARINA
                         This is all gonna be yours, Rudy. 
                         I can feel it.

               Rudy just LAUGHS at her and they kiss.

                                   RUDY
                         What are you talking about?  This
                         place must be worth seven or eight
                         million bones...

               Sammy overhears Rudy and surprises him.

                                   SAMMY
                         Ten point two, and rising quickly.
                             (beat)
                         Welcome, Rudy!

               Sammy is decked out like he belongs in a Tony Bahama catalog.

                                   RUDY
                         Sammy, hello.  This is Carina.

               All smiles and charm, Sammy clasps Carina's hand and bows
               slightly.

                                   SAMMY
                         Carina, thank you for coming.

               Sammy hands Carina a glass of champagne and smiles wide.

                                   CARINA
                         Thank you for having us.

                                   SAMMY
                         You're welcome, but I do need to
                         steal Rudy for a moment.

                                   CARINA
                         Of course.  I'll go mingle.

               Sammy and Rudy depart into the shadows of the party.

               MOMENTS LATER

               Rudy lights a cigarette and accepts a cocktail from a server.

                                   SAMMY
                         My employees are family, Rudy.  But
                         I never had a Hungarian family
                         member.  When did your family come
                         to America?

                                   RUDY
                         I was four.  My father pushed me on
                         an air mattress across the water
                         from Hungary to Italy.
                             (beat, getting emotional)
                         Soldiers killed my mother.

                                   SAMMY
                         And you joined the Corps after
                         9/11, served in Iraq, killed a man.

               Rudy is surprised that he knows about that.

                                   RUDY
                         That wasn't on my resume.

                                   SAMMY
                         Data is my business.  Before I hire
                         someone, I know their data, Killer.
                             (beat)
                         Mind if I call you Killer?

                                   RUDY
                         Uhh, no.  Go ahead.

               Rudy feels strange, but lets it blow over.  He gets lost in
               the mansion and the views of Catalina.

                                   SAMMY
                         Great warriors, you Huns, much like
                         my Persian ancestors who fought
                         yours on the plains of Asia.  And
                         here we are, working together.
                             (beat)
                         What do you think of my enterprise?

                                   RUDY
                         I'm very impressed, and curious.

                                   SAMMY
                         Good.  I need talent like you to
                         make WideCountry grow.  Men with
                         hunger, drive, and balls.

                                   RUDY
                         I'm your man, Sammy.

               Rudy's blunt confidence appeals to Sammy.

                                   SAMMY
                         You remind me of myself.  My family
                         came here from Iran with only the
                         clothes on our back and a few
                         dollars stuffed in our suitcases.

               A long beat as each man takes a swig from his drink.

                                   SAMMY
                         You know what WideCountry sells?

                                   RUDY
                         Sub-prime mortgages.

                                   SAMMY
                         Not so fast, Rudy.  Think big and
                         you will see, we sell the American
                         Dream!  We make it happen for
                         people with computers, servers,
                         systems.  Without technology,
                         there'd be no sub-prime market, no
                         loans, nothing but rich fucks like
                         me showing up with fifty or a
                         hundred percent cash down to buy a
                         house.
                             (beat)
                         But now your dad, a poor cabbie all
                         his life, can own a home.

               Rudy shoots Sammy a surprised look.  He knows about his dad?

                                   SAMMY
                         Remember, I'm in the data business.

                                   RUDY
                         It sure would be a dream come true
                         if my dad ever owned a house.

                                   SAMMY
                         Exactly, and that's why you're
                         here...to help dreams come true.
                             (beat)
                         Everyone has the same primal urge. 
                         We want a better life than our
                         parents had.

               Sammy waltzes around Rudy, slightly drunk, his open arms
               waving at his estate.

                                   SAMMY
                         And those dreams give us the means!
                             (beat)
                         Look at all this.  Twenty thousand
                         a month just in fuckin' upkeep.
                             (beat)
                         The Hindus call it karma.  I call
                         it the spoils of war.

                                   RUDY
                         War?

                                   SAMMY
                         Every day is a fucking battle. 
                         Feds, regulators, agents, and evil
                         forces conspiring to separate us
                         from our hard-earned living.
                             (beat)
                         But enough about the jackals...what
                         drives you, Rudy?

                                   RUDY
                         Uh, I like to code.

                                   SAMMY
                         Code!  That's it?

                                   RUDY
                         I love the design, the
                         architecture, the analysis, it's
                         like being a chef.

                                   SAMMY
                         But who wants to cook when you can
                         order the meal and eat...

               Sammy sweeps his arms and spills his drink.

                                   SAMMY
                         ALL OF THIS!

               They both consider this for a long beat, then stroll back to
               the party with a closer bond.  Sammy puts his arm around
               Rudy's shoulder.

                                   SAMMY
                         You will let me know if you see
                         anything strange happening at the
                         office, right?

                                   RUDY
                         Of course.

                                   SAMMY
                         It's funny, but in some ways I need
                         you just as much as you need me.

                                   RUDY
                         You have my word, Sammy.

               Sammy puts his arm around Rudy, very happy.

                                   SAMMY
                         Remember, do what's right, and
                         those dreams give us the means.


tunnel rat posted on April 24, 2010 11:55
EXT.  WIDECOUNTRY HEADQUARTERS – DAWN

               Rudy looks up at his new place of employment.  The shimmering
               structure rises straight up to the sky.  Rudy spins around,
               very excited, as he sees what he's been waiting for.

               A brand new black 2006 Bentley sedan speeds up and parks in a
               reserved spot.  

               The personalized license plate reads: "OC SAMMY"

               Rudy limps over as fast as he can and reaches WideCountry's
               CEO and founder, SAMIR "SAMMY" PESSIAN (49), as he exits his
               Bentley.  He's dressed in a monogrammed button down lavender
               shirt and black velvet loafers.  With a sleek gray mane, he
               could sell time-shares in Mexico or used cars in Long Beach. 
               He has two pinky rings and reeks of new money.

               Sammy notices Rudy's limp and quickly steps by, so Rudy tries
               hard to keep up with him.

                                   SAMMY
                         You're being watched.

               Rudy LAUGHS, then realizes he's serious, so he sticks out his
               hand in greeting.

                                   RUDY
                         Mr. Pessian, good morning.  I'm
                         your newest employee, Rudy Torrent.

               Sammy LAUGHS then becomes very charming as they shake hands. 
               His accent is exotic, something between French and Arabic.

                                   SAMMY
                         Look at you, all ready to go like a
                         fifteen year-old Siberian hooker on
                         her first night in Moscow.
                             (beat)
                         You're in I.T., right?

               Rudy lights up with Sammy's knowledge about him.

                                   RUDY
                         Yes, sir.

                                   SAMMY
                         Sales is where the real money is. 
                         But hey, we're gonna need a lot of
                         geeks to make my vision a reality.

               Rudy isn't sure how to take this comment.  Sammy continues
               after an awkward beat, and points to Rudy's knee.

                                   SAMMY
                         Old war wound?

               Sammy LAUGHS as Rudy looks down at his leg, embarrassed.

                                   RUDY
                         Yes, my knee was blown off in Iraq.

               Sammy shoots him an "I'm sorry" look, but Rudy takes it in
               stride.

                                   RUDY
                         It'll be safer working here, right?

               Rudy and Sammy share a LAUGH.  Sammy likes him instantly.

                                   SAMMY
                         As long as you're not popping pills
                         for that knee.  We have a strict
                         policy against any controlled
                         substances.

                                   RUDY
                         No, of course not.

                                   SAMMY
                         OK, so check in with me next week. 
                         I'm curious how this work
                         environment compares to getting
                         your balls shot at in Iraq.

               Sammy keeps a straight face, so Rudy isn't sure how to take
               it.  But then Sammy LAUGHS, so Rudy does, too.

                                   RUDY
                         I will, Mr. Pessian.

               Sammy puts out his hand and they shake again.

                                   SAMMY
                         It's Sammy.

                                   RUDY
                         Thank you, Sammy.  I'm going to
                         work very hard for you.

                                   SAMMY
                         I know.  That's why we hired you.

               Sammy enters the building, the master of his domain, and Rudy
               takes it all in.  He'd love to be him one day.



               INT.  WIDECOUNTRY HEADQUARTERS – LATER THAT MORNING

               Rudy is escorted through the WideCountry lobby by the sharp
               dressed Mitch from the interview.  He comes on strong again.

                                   MITCH
                         I wrote code like you before
                         jumping to management.
                             (beat)
                         You'll never have that option.

               It's uncomfortable as Mitch sizes up Rudy with obvious
               dislike.  They enter a marbled elevator and remain silent the
               entire ride up.

                                   MITCH
                         What do you think about that?

                                   RUDY
                         Uh, not much, I mean, sure.

                                   MITCH
                         Never take what I say lightly.

               Rudy looks at Mitch and does exactly that as the elevator
               stops on the 9th floor.  They exit.

               A sign reads: APPLICATIONS DEVELOPMENT

               Mitch swipes his badge and opens the door to reveal...

               PANDEMONIUM.  The department covers the entire floor which is
               the size of a football field.  
               There are DOZENS of programmers, many who wear headphones. 
               Workers are on phones as others point and SHOUT over shoulder
               high cubicles.

               Rudy and Mitch continue in silence and reach his pod.  It's a
               12 foot wide, half-square "veal pen" with a workstation in
               each of the two corners.

                                   MITCH
                         This is where we fatten you up
                         before the slaughter.

               Rudy doesn't laugh.  They're off to a very rough start. 
               Mitch introduces the other worker in the pen.

                                   MITCH
                         Ashish, meet our new lamb, Rudy
                         Torrent.

               ASHISH (late 20s) is a mustached, shower shoe-wearing Indian. 
               He turns away from his monitor, silently nods at them, then
               quickly resumes his work.

                                   MITCH
                         Let that be a lesson for how we
                         stay focused here at WideCountry.

               Rudy tries to stay cool, so he sits down and looks at his new
               computer system.

                                   MITCH
                         Ashish, is a project manager. 
                         Please help Rudy with his logins,
                         map his drives, the works.

                                   ASHISH
                         But he needs logon.

                                   MITCH
                         I know, call tech.
                             (beat)
                         Oh wait, you guys are tech!

               Mitch LAUGHS really hard at this, so Ashish does as well,
               though it's clear he didn't get the lame joke.

                                   MITCH
                         This is where I scoot.

                                   RUDY
                         Thank you, Mitch.

               Rudy goes to shake Mitch's hand but he's already on the move. 
               Ashish scribbles on a Post-It and hands it to Rudy.

                                   ASHISH
                         Use this password.

                                   RUDY
                         Thanks, Ashish.
                             (beat)
                         So, you're a project manager, huh?

                                   ASHISH
                         Yes.

               Rudy waits for more, but there won't be anything coming.

                                   RUDY
                         Cool, so how long you been here?

                                   ASHISH
                         Month.  First job in America.

                                   RUDY
                         That was a tough interview, huh? 
                         They grilled me.

                                   ASHISH
                         Grill?

               Ashish doesn't understand English very well.

                                   RUDY
                         Yeah, uh, how'd you do on that
                         prime number puzzle?

                                   ASHISH
                         No puzzle.  I did phone interview
                         from Mumbai.

                                   RUDY
                         Mumbai, wow, and now you live here?

                                   ASHISH
                         Yes, at hotel.  Walk to work.  It's
                         great.

               Ashish looks at his cheap watch and stands up, suddenly in a
               hurry.

                                   ASHISH
                         Meeting time.

                                   RUDY
                         Should I go?

               But Ashish exits without answering.  Rudy tries to take it in
               stride, so he sticks the Post-It note on his monitor, cracks
               his knuckles, and sits back in his chair.

               Suddenly, a head from the next veal pen pops up.  This is
               CLIPPER (late 20s), another white programmer.  He sports a
               faux-hawk hairdo and neck tattoo.

                                   CLIPPER
                         Hey, Rudy.  I'm Clipper.  Overheard
                         Bitch, uh, I mean Mitch, introduce
                         you to Ashtray.  Of course he
                         skipped me.  Bitch, uh, I mean
                         Mitch, hates white guys, fyi.

                                   RUDY
                         At least he's a cheerful bitch, uh,
                         I mean Mitch.

               They share a LAUGH and shake hands.

                                   CLIPPER
                         Come on, we can't miss the show.

               Rudy grabs a pen and note pad and follows Clipper.



               INT.  WIDECOUNTRY CONFERENCE ROOM – MOMENTS LATER

               Mitch mans a remote mouse and runs his weekly "Project Plan &
               Status" meeting.  A projector displays a spreadsheet with
               assignments, milestones, and cryptic acronyms.

                                   MITCH
                         Go live for Phase Two is set for
                         six weeks from today if QA is ready
                         and UAT is complete.

               Ashish stares at the notepad in front of him while others
               thumb their Blackberries.  They all turn as the door opens,
               expecting to see Sammy...

               But Rudy and Clipper enter and take seats at the round table
               with everyone else.  Mitch pounces on Rudy again.

                                   MITCH
                         Have you all met Rudy, our new web
                         developer?

               The Group turns to Rudy, smiling pleasantly.

                                   MITCH
                         I'm not sure he knows what he's
                         doing here, but we need warm
                         bodies!

               Mitch LAUGHS, as do a few other kiss-asses.  Rudy isn't sure
               what to say, but he doesn't want to be branded like that.

                                   RUDY
                         Hi everyone.  I know what I'm
                         doing.  And if I don't, I'm not
                         afraid to ask questions.

               Awkward silence fills the room.  Clipper breaks the tension.

                                   CLIPPER
                         Fresh meat!

               The room erupts in nervous chuckles.  Clipper turns to Rudy
               for a fist-bump.  Rudy lightens up a bit, just as...

               The conference room swings open and Sammy enters, the clear
               Alpha Male.

                                   SAMMY
                         Listen up, everyone.  We're on
                         track to have our first billion
                         dollar quarter for "sub-prime"
                         loans...but I want more!

               Everyone CHEERS, including Rudy, eager to follow their
               charismatic leader.

                                   SAMMY
                         Loan origination takes an average
                         of 28 days.  That's a huge problem. 
                         If we could cut it in half, we'd
                         double our volume.
                             (beat)
                         Does anyone know why it takes so
                         fucking long?

                                   MITCH
                         The paperwork.

                                   SAMMY
                         Exactly, Mitch!  Signing, faxing,
                         mailing, and pushing piles and
                         piles of paper is KILLING US!
                             (beat)
                         And that's where you all come in.

               Everyone is excited to be included.

                                   SAMMY
                         Banks, title companies, realtors,
                         every chump in the biz relies on
                         paper docs...and that's our
                         opportunity!

               The team looks to each other, very engaged.

                                   SAMMY
                         Imagine a website where people can
                         apply for a home loan, process
                         their own mortgage, and get funded
                         with no hassles and no paperwork!

               Sammy SLAMS HIS FIST on the conference table.

                                   SAMMY
                         This is a game changer.  A new
                         software platform and framework for
                         self-processing loans, with all
                         documents done digitally online!

               Sammy circles the room, eye-balling each person.

                                   SAMMY
                         I call it PEAK FRAMEWORK!

                                   CLIPPER
                         But what about the signatures?

                                   SAMMY
                         Digital signatures are now legally
                         binding.  So if we do it right, we
                         eliminate the notaries, appraisers,
                         title reps, and escrow assholes.
                             (beat)
                         As soon as YOU create the software,
                         WE can capture their fees!

                                   MITCH
                         Sammy and I created a requirements
                         doc.  To be first to market, we
                         must launch in six months.

               The programmers look at each other, shaking their heads. 
               Wow, only six months!  That's nearly impossible.

                                   SAMMY
                         I know, I know.  Six months is half
                         the time other shops would require.
                             (beat)
                         But they don't have you...the
                         greatest technology team ever
                         assembled in the sub-prime space!

               Sammy passes by Rudy and slyly drops an envelope in his lap.

                                   SAMMY
                         I'm counting on every single person
                         in this room.

               Sammy exits, so Rudy looks down at the envelope.

               It reads: RUDY TORRENT



Posted in:   Tags:
tunnel rat posted on April 21, 2010 23:20
INT. LAZLO'S APARTMENT - DAY 

               Rudy's spirits are low as he eats cereal at the table.  His
               cell phone RINGS so he quickly answers it.

                                   RUDY
                         Rudy here.

                                   NARVIN ASHLEY (OVER PHONE)
                         What's your major malfunction?  You
                         use the good name of Ashely
                         Associates to go on seven fuckin'
                         interviews, and what the fuck do
                         you have to show for it?!

               Rudy doesn't know what to say.

                                   NARVIN ASHLEY (OVER PHONE)
                         I thought you got your knee blown
                         off, not your fuckin' balls!

                                   RUDY
                         I'm sorry, Mr. Ashley.

                                   NARVIN ASHLEY (OVER PHONE)
                         Yeah, well I'm sorry they only
                         offered you $95,000!
                             (beat)
                         But that'll be at least six figures
                         after I'm done choppin' wood.

                                   RUDY
                         Excuse me?

                                   NARVIN ASHLEY (OVER PHONE)
                         Congratu-fuckin-lations!  You start
                         tomorrow morning at 9 AM.  Be on
                         time, Devil Dog!

               The phone line GOES DEAD.  Rudy sits there, giddy.

Posted in:   Tags:
tunnel rat posted on April 20, 2010 23:42
EXT. WIDECOUNTRY HEADQUARTERS – DAY 

               The big interview day.  Rudy parks his old pickup in the lot
               outside the twenty-story shimmering office building of the
               largest sub-prime mortgage company in the country.



               INT. WIDECOUNTRY HEADQUARTERS – LATER THAT DAY

               Rudy sits across from three stern-faced INTERVIEWERS in a
               conference room.  He's more polished in the dark suit, pastel
               shirt, and matching silk tie that Carina picked out for him.

               He remembers to smile, just like she taught him, and each
               interviewer smiles back, except for one.

                                   INTERVIEWER #1
                         What's the difference between
                         server transfer and server
                         redirect?

                                   RUDY
                         Server transfer doesn't require a
                         trip to the client, so it's twice
                         as fast.

                                   INTERVIEWER #2
                         What's the difference between view
                         state and session?

                                   RUDY
                         View state is only for the life of
                         the page, session persists in
                         between page calls.

                                   INTERVIEWER #2
                         That's all I have.  Boss?

               Belligerent MITCH DOWNS (33), WideCountry's VP of Application
               Development, pushes a note pad across to Rudy.  He speaks
               with a nasal lisp.

                                   MITCH
                         Write a function to determine if an
                         input is a prime number.

                                   RUDY
                         Sorry.  Prime what?

                                   MITCH
                         Do you know what a prime number is?

               Rudy rolls with it.

                                   RUDY
                         Yes...a natural number which has
                         two distinct natural number
                         divisors and itself.
                             (beat)
                         But what if the input is zero?

                                   MITCH
                         Write the function.  Quickly.

               Rudy works quickly and it's obvious he knows what he's doing. 
               He checks his work and politely pushes the note pad to Mitch.

                                   MITCH
                         Incorrect.  This function will
                         return false if the input is one.

                                   RUDY
                         One is not a prime number.

                                   VOICE #1
                         He's correct, Mitch.

               Mitch is faced, so he gives Rudy his best shot

                                   MITCH
                         Why is a manhole round, Rudy?

               Rudy thinks about this for a moment, then has the answer.

                                   RUDY
                         That's not fair.

                                   MITCH
                         Ha, you think life is fair?

                                   RUDY
                         Every programmer knows that's an
                         old Microsoft riddle.  The manhole
                         is round so it doesn't fall in.

               The others smile then straighten up as Mitch glares at them.

Posted in:   Tags:
tunnel rat posted on April 20, 2010 09:50
EXT. ASHLEY ASSOCIATES OFFICE - DAY 

               Carina exits in a revealing black outfit.  An Orange County
               hottie.

               Rudy pulls up in his 1995 gold Nissan pickup truck.  It's
               worth about $2,500, and Carina's disappointed look shows it.

                                   RUDY
                         Are you hungry?

                                   CARINA
                         No offense, but your beater just
                         took away my appetite.

               Rudy LAUGHS.

                                   CARINA
                         You buy it off a Mexican
                         landscaper?

                                   RUDY
                         I did, and for a good price.
                             (beat)
                         C'mon, hop in.

                                   CARINA
                         Only if you promise to upgrade this
                         piece of shit as soon as you land
                         the WideCountry job.

               Rudy doesn't have to think twice about it.

                                   RUDY
                         I will, and you can pick out the
                         interior color.

               Carina smiles, hops in to the pickup, and they drive away.



               EXT. HURRICANES BAR – DUSK 

               It's Friday Happy Hour and the bar is mobbed.  Carina and
               Rudy share drinks on the second floor patio.

                                   CARINA
                         How are the interviews going?

                                   RUDY
                         What if some fat, smelly, mouth
                         breather picked his nose right in
                         front of you as he supposedly
                         "read" your resume?

                                   CARINA
                         Uhh, that wouldn't happen to me.

               Rudy LAUGHS.

                                   RUDY
                         You're right.
                             (beat)
                         I'm not sure this is for me. 
                         I don't fit in with all of these
                         tweekers and keyboard pounders. 
                         They all have some sort of weird
                         color skin. 

               Carina SNORTS OUT LAUGHING!

                                   RUDY
                         What?

                                   CARINA
                         Yeah, we call that the T.T. -
                         techie tan.  All you guys get it.

                                   RUDY
                         Ha, never had it, never will.

                                   CARINA
                         I'll drink to that.

               They clang their glasses and drink, enjoying themselves.

                                   CARINA
                         But you better know...Narvin is
                         pissed.  You went on six
                         interviews, but you haven't called
                         him about WideCountry.

                                   RUDY
                         I gotta go back to school.

               Carina takes charge.

                                   CARINA
                         Fuck school, Rudy, and you fuck me.

               Rudy snaps to attention what Carina's forward announcement.

                                   RUDY
                         You think so?

                                   CARINA
                         I know so.  I also know you can run
                         circles around dozens of guys we
                         placed who make about 200K.

               Rudy gains confidence with her faith in him.

                                   RUDY
                         Wow, 200K!

                                   CARINA
                         School is for kids.  Are you a kid?

               Carina moves close to Rudy and they start to make out.  It
               gets hot and heavy, but then she pulls back.

                                   CARINA
                         So in two days, you call Narvin.

                                   RUDY
                         Why two days?

                                   CARINA
                         We have some adjustments to make.

               Carina moves closer to Rudy and gets really sweet.

                                   CARINA
                         Like your smile.

               This makes Rudy LAUGH and smile.

                                   RUDY
                         What's wrong with my smile?

                                   CARINA
                         Absolutely nothing.  It's perfect. 
                         But you gotta use it more often.

               Rudy smiles wide, and they make out again as we...

                                                           DISSOLVE TO:



               INT. NORDSTROMS MEN'S STORE - DAY

               Rudy tries on suits as Carina looks on.  He looks great and
               she gives him the thumbs up...

               Then she picks out a shirt and tie combo for him...

               Then he picks out a pair of conservative brown wing tip dress
               shoes.  But Carina puts them back and hands him a pair of
               black Italian loafers.



               INT. HURRICANES BAR – NIGHT

               Rudy and Carina dirty dance, falling for each other.  The
               song ends and the lights flicker to signal closing time.



               EXT. HURRICANES BAR - MOMENTS LATER

               Rudy and Carina stumble down the street, making out.  Rudy
               pulls out his cell phone and dials.

                                   RUDY (INTO PHONE)
                         Hi, Narvin.  Fuck you!

               Carina freaks out and shakes her head NO!  But Rudy LAUGHS. 
               He was just kidding.

                                   RUDY (INTO PHONE)
                         I need a cab, just east of
                         Hurricanes on Main at the pier.

               Rudy hangs up the phone and Carina jumps into his arms.

                                   CARINA
                         You're so responsible, I love that.
                             (beat)
                         And I'm responsible for this.

               Carina pulls Rudy around the corner into a partially blocked
               alley.  In a flash, she unzips his fly, goes down on him...

               And continues until he's done.  She has Rudy on the hook.



               EXT. DOWNTOWN HUNTINGTON BEACH – MOMENTS LATER

               Lazlo pulls up, and Rudy leads Carina into the cab.  Lazlo
               eyes them closely and pretends he doesn't know who Rudy is.

                                   LAZLO
                         Where to, sir?

                                   RUDY
                         Wherever this beautiful woman
                         lives.
                             (beat)
                         And then back to my place.  I have
                         a big interview tomorrow, so it's
                         time to get some rest.

               Carina appreciates Rudy's gentlemanly gesture.

                                   CARINA
                         I live in Newport, 29th and Ocean.

               Lazlo drives and watches his son and Carina interact
               harmlessly in the back seat.  It brings a smile to his face.

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